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[征文作品] ［玄幻］「２００９文心雕龙」「机关“少妇”」（73号作品）

bianlaosao 该用户已被删除
1楼 大 中 小 发表于 2010-1-26 14:54  显示全部帖子
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题材还是不错的,人物刻画的也比较生动,内容稍短了些不太充实,既是人妖就应该,多写一些混杂的性爱,如同时与一男一女,或是多人,性爱,文笔再诱惑一点写出主人公再各种情爱下的感受和享受肉欲之中的快感,不过整体还是不错的继续努力加油!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
本帖最近评分记录
  • kradark 金币 -2 但是符合灌水 2010-1-26 21:07
  • kradark 金币 +3 回复认真，鼓励！ 2010-1-26 21:06

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