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[离任作者] 【圣女母亲】第十九章

dz1088

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1楼 大 中 小 发表于 2010-12-1 21:15  显示全部帖子
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这个老头出现得有点突然，希望后戏还能发挥一点作用，要不对于整个情节来讲，就有点生硬了。后面应该是放到张文采了，建议作者在“刺”多下一些功夫，过程可以更曲折更精彩一些，如果很轻易的就得手了，难免有些平淡

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